I’ve been completely out of the loop with all things author-related lately.
I’ve been battling through some serious burn-out and mental health stuff, so I decided to take a break from:
- Posting and scrolling on Instagram (which I never thought I’d do because I love Instagram).
- Writing (because every time I sat down and looked at my manuscript I felt sick in the pit of my stomach).
- Reading romance (sometimes the effect those stories can have on my brain is too heavy).
I didn’t want to do much of anything and spent close to two months floating around in an average place.
Eventually, I went back to therapy after cancelling several sessions out of anxiety.
My psychologist asked me why I felt anxious going and I answered, “Because I’m vulnerable and might not like what I discover about myself.” Yes, you better believe I bawled for the entirety of that session.
That was the first session that felt like work. I struggled to get through it. He even gave me homework afterwards (*eyeroll*). Necessary homework, but still.
I’ve been journaling in an attempt to help with it all. I find it quite difficult to do actually, but I think it’s helping. I’ve kept taking my medication – that shit has been a lifesaver. If your body can’t make enough neurotransmitters, store bought is fine and I will DIE ON THIS HILL COS I BELIEVE THIS SO MUCH.
I’ve been exercising more regularly, getting outdoors every day (even standing in the sun for 10 minutes feels amazing), watching TV just because, sleeping in and seeing friends.
I’ve been enjoying not thinking about posting or creating or promoting. I’ve managed to get to a place where I don’t feel guilty every minute I’m not working on my writing (that took time). A few months ago, anytime I was out with friends or doing stuff around the house, a voice in my head would be screaming at me that I should be writing. It’s probably a huge part of what led to this burn-out in the first place. I had to take a long break.
Six weeks later (today), I decided to try and write a newsletter and I came up with this post.
And IT FEELS SO GOOD. This is the first time I’ve wanted to write in so long and where the words have just poured out. I’m not even going to revise it that much. I’m just going to press post to finally get something done again.
For anyone out there feeling burn-out in whatever stage of life you’re in, I implore you to take a break.
Seek help in professionals and in friends. Don’t feel guilty for looking after your brain and emotions. IT’S OKAY TO GO SLOW. It’s okay to not be like that person, or that person. Do your own shit. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. Mine’s been screaming at me to stop and I took too long to listen.
I know this has been a very self-indulgent post, but you should know by now, most of my posts are (and who doesn’t love talking about themselves?). But truly, I hope this helps whoever’s reading it in some way – if you’ve been thinking of taking a break or wondering if you can do it all – take this as a sign. TAKE A BREAK.