After a decade of employ at the same place, I quit.
I quit my job. Me, a woman who loves routine and habit and security, quit her job.
I have just over a month before I finish, but I don’t believe it’s happening. I don’t believe that day will ever really come. It’s like I’m living in a trance-like/limbo state right now. As someone who likes knowing what comes next, it’s been difficult to process all the emotions.
Some may call me boring, given I like predictability, but I’ve always been okay with it. Until recently. I’ve come to realise that being this way has often been to my own detriment. Wanting routine and security can be good, but it also eliminates a lot of risk-taking, which can lead to missing out on things you didn’t know you could do, or feel, or experience.
After a pandemic, health scares in the family, and yet another realisation of how fleeting life is, something has shifted. After lots of conversations with my partner (and myself), I made the decision to let go of my safety net.
I am aware of how privileged I am to even consider this option.
I don’t have another job lined up. I will be going on annual leave and will be paid out my long service leave to help me get by for a little while … and then I’m on my own.
I don’t know what will happen, but I know what I’m going to aim for. I’m going to travel and do my goddamn best to be present while I do it. I want to write, and I mean, properly write. Every day, all day, as if it’s my job. Because that’s ultimately what I want. I’m going to do some freelance work and figure shit out as it comes … it’s all very unpredictable and risky for someone like me, but despite the innate fear pulsating through my veins, I’m excited.
And yes, I will likely be back working in a few months, but this break will give me the chance to figure out where I want to head and what other jobs might be a good fit for me. I am so grateful to be in this position and I can’t wait to see what the future brings, even if it’s scary AF.
If you’ve been thinking take a leap of faith, or a risk, or about going after something you really want – you can do it. Yes, it’s terrifying and all of the things, but it’s also liberating once you make the decision. Go for it. Give it a bloody good crack.