H As someone who often thinks about their mental health (and who also adores both Osher Gunsberg and Rosie Waterland) I found a recent podcast of them together, comforting.

Heroic Self Care with Rosie Waterland is a conversation about all things comedy, Survachelor (a Survivor and Bachelor hybrid show idea – let’s get around this), self-care, self-love and mental health.

It also slapped me in the face in a way I really needed it, especially when Osher said:  

“I can’t just expect that I will be okay. I have to put in work to maintain a level of robustness and resilience to allow me to absorb life. Cos if I just think that I’ll be fine, I fucking won’t.”

This is what I keep forgetting.

I am someone who has to actively and consciously PUT IN THE WORK in order to be “okay” and get the most out of life. That’s just how it is and it’s something I’ve only recently figured out about myself. I need to exercise, be mindful of what I eat and eat well, practice meditation and deal with medication, check in with my GP and be transparent with my partner. I know that if I do all these things, I really do get the most out of myself and out of my life.

It goes without saying that I have not been looking after myself as well as I could, and should, be lately. For whatever reason it’s like I forget how being self-aware about my habits in relation to my mental health can really help me, and I fall off the rails.

Emotional eating, self-berating, excessively beer consumption and lack of: exercise, self-awareness and discipline, have all contributed to me feeling like shit, feeling anxious, gaining weight, struggling mentally and struggling creatively.

How do I keep forgetting?

I honestly don’t know how I fall into the cycle. I’ve gone through the pattern enough times to know that stopping my self-care activities only leads down a slippery slope into an unpleasant place. And yet somehow, I’ll skip the gym once, twice, three times, or over-indulge in something, which then has a knock-on effect. Suddenly, I’m not leaving the house except to go to work, I’m eating my feelings and my anxiety is through the roof.

If I’m being completely honest, I think I’ve probably let myself be defeated. My anxiety and bouts of depression are so real for me, but sometimes I think I haven’t taken enough responsibility. I fall victim to these things I deal with too often and upon reflection it’s sometimes easy for me to blame them for not trying new things, not going out and making poor choices. I’ve spoken before about how my anxiety became my security blanket and even though I’m more aware of it, I know I need to take more proactive action when it comes to managing my mental health.

Osher and Rosie woke me up to this.

Podcasts are the fucking best. They’re constantly teaching me new things, educating me on foreign and old topics, opening me up to different view points or even just making me laugh. This one in particular made me re-assess my own habits, my own journey and made me get really fucking excited about the prospect of Survachelor.

It also helped me deal with the struggles I’ve been having with my creativity. Writing is my happy place, my escape, my focus, but as many of you would know, I’ve been struggling with it a little bit. I have no problem putting in the work or dealing with the highs and lows that is writing a fucking novel, but lately getting words out of my brain onto paper that isn’t stilted, has been so tricky.

I’ve been so obsessed with the brilliant, seemingly effortless (but most likely fucking hard) work of the likes of K.A. Tucker, Christina Lauren, Jane Harper, Sally Thorne and the Queen herself, Rosie Waterland, that I’ve become paralysed when trying to ‘find my voice’ in my own writing. I keep trying to write like everybody else and that’s why I keep getting stuck. 

Thankfully, accomplished writer and Queen, Rosie Waterland said many heartfelt and witty things about her life in the podcast, particularly about her writing.

When she uttered the simple line of “write like yourself” – it made me smile.

It’s such simple advice, but it could not have been more needed. And I’m sharing this because if anyone reading this is struggling with their mental health and mental illness, or who knows someone going through a tough time … who is a Bachelor lover or who needs a laugh, who wants to listen to something real, honest, invigorating and helpful, then this podcast might do for you what it did for me – help.

Even if it’s just a little bit.

Han x