Well I bloody well did it.

I joined a pretty sweet gym near my day job and smashed myself with a killer lower body session in the same day. I sense I will not be able to walk properly over the next couple of days and it’s that intense DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) feeling that I miss so dearly. I can already feel my peach getting perkier.

Now, while those sentences make it seem like I just waltzed in and signed up, dominated the gym and then walked out, it is far from the truth.

First of all – I had forgotten how utterly daunting big, corporate gyms can be. I prepared myself before walking in, but it doesn’t mean my anxiety didn’t take over and nearly cause me to shit my pants. Why do the people in there feel the need to stare you down? THIS AIN’T YOUR GYM PEASANT. It’s so bizarre to me that you wouldn’t be friendly, or at least turn off your resting bitch face (RBF) when someone new looks at you (although to be fair, when I workout my RBF is on for the whole workout).

Secondly, I realised I no longer had an appropriate wardrobe to be a gym rat. Nearly everything I own is F45 branded, and if you’ve ever walked into a gym wearing clothes marked with another gym – you’ll know that you get a lot of sideways glances/death stares. I’d like to say I don’t care if people look, but my anxiety says otherwise.

I don’t really like a lot of attention in the gym. I’m there to get my shit done, and then I leave. I’m not there to look pretty, or dress a certain way or PISS AROUND TAKING SELFIES WHILST LEAVING MY TOWEL ON THE LEG PRESS SO NO ONE ELSE CAN USE IT. Seriously whyyyyy?! I like to just get in there, do what I gotta do, and leave without stressing about someone watching my form, or assessing my outfit.

Disclaimer: I am NOT judging people who do dress nicely, or wear tight clothes etc. so keep your pants on. Mate, if I had heaps of money and wasn’t so bloody tired all the time, I’d step it up for sure.

And lastly, working your way around a new gym can be the biggest mish. You’ve gotta figure out where everything is without looking like a total twat. And due to my work schedule, I have to train in peak times, so that’s not always ideal – especially if your machines aren’t free and people are too busy checking Facebook while they “rest”. Plus side though – training in peak time is great motivation to not slack off, because there is always a chance someone could be watching you. Silver linings folks.

Gyms can be great places to train, but they can also be totally unnerving. It made me remember what it’s like being new to a gym and feeling a bit out of your comfort zone. I mean, I know how to use the machinery, am not afraid to walk in where all the t-back-singlet-wearing-muscled-up dudes are, (I sort of adopt the persona of the woman in the image above), I can load my own weights, and I’m still anxious AF. So I TOTALLY get those of you out there who are scared, nervous and steer clear of certain areas (like the gorilla pit) or avoid gyms altogether. It can be scary … but it’s so awesome once you know what you’re doing.

For anyone that’s a little bit scared or nervous about using the big machines or going into the free weight sections – set up a time for a staff member to walk you through some of the main machines, book a PT session or get in there when it’s quiet, and have a look. Do your research and remember that you’re there for yourself, not anybody else. Don’t just stick to the cardio area because you’re afraid. If that’s the case you should join F45 where everybody is nice and friendly and happy to answer any questions. That’s way better than walking on a treadmill by yourself for an hour. YOU KNOW!

Anyway, it was an all round positive experience and I got to finish with 20 minutes on my old friend, the stairmaster. Good times. #growbootygrow